It’s only Tuesday and I’ve already had a rough week. Two days down and I am stressed and tired. The semester is slowly ending and my homework load has quickly increased. I have softball games every other day and once in a while I get a full night of sleep. Through all my busyness, I’ve noticed something important. On the days that I don’t know if I’m coming or going, if I choose to push my time with God until the next day or the day after that, I am overwhelmed and feel defeated.
I see the negatives and the drama. I see the endless list of what I need to get done. What I don’t see is what God has given me and how grateful I should be. I become a negative Nancy. I become selfish.
Yesterday I played in a softball game. It was a beautiful day; a perfect day for a ball game. I even got to play center field! I played pretty well but through out the whole game, I asked myself, “Why I was playing?” I’m obviously not playing because the team is an all star team. We’ve only won one game. I’m not playing for the girls on the team because I probably won’t see most of them again after this year. I’m not playing for my coach although he is one of the best coaches I’ve had. I’m not playing for the stats because they aren’t great and I don’t know what most of them mean. I’m not even playing because we get super awesome team gear. I could have been graduating in May and starting a new life as a teacher in a warm state!
So why am I playing? I play because God gave me a passion for softball. God gave me an athletic ability to somehow throw a ball underhand at a fast speed. God gives me joy when I snag a ball backhanded and when I lay a bunt down yet never make it to first. I play because I want to glorify God.
I get frustrated that we don’t win games, but I’ve learned an important lesson. Although the team doesn’t win, the way I act during the game is most important. At this time, a win for me would be keeping a good attitude throughout the whole game. To not get sassy when an umpire doesn’t call a pitch a strike (that was CLEARLY a strike). And to not burst into tears out of frustration. I don’t want to give up.
The biggest win I will have during this season is making sure I give God the time He deserves. That requires me to give up excuses and realize that the center of my world isn’t homework or even the softball field. Jesus is the center of my world. If I set the expectation for the girls on my team to act like Jesus then I had better show them how that looks. It’s hard. I know I fail every day. But that’s where I will not give up because of grace. I learn from the failed attempt before and notice what I did do well. I don’t focus on what I look like but how Christ will be seen.
“Even in this moment, Christ is working everything for your good. Yesterday is a closed door, you don’t live there anymore. Say goodbye to yesterday and tell your heart to beat again.” Tell Your Heart To Beat Again – Danny Gokey
Everlasting to Everlasting 